Forever is Fleeting
by Princess Sassafras
Summary: Sequel to I Want To Be With Sesshomaru Forever! As time passes, Sesshomaru can no longer avoid questioning his own motives behind keeping Rin. Especially since Rin is no longer a little girl. And what part will they play in each other's future? [SesshRin]


"I Want To Be With Prince Sesshomaru Forever!"

Part II

"Where are you, Sesshomaru-sama? Rin is searching for you!"

I can hear her from where I recline, on the other side of the great tree. She cannot smell me as I can smell her, and so she blindly calls. When she circles the tree, the light of the setting sun surrounds her. She sees me and smiles. For a moment I forget she is ningen. It happens more and more as she grows; her spirit does not shrink from the lifestyle to which she has grown accustomed. Nor has she hardened. She still cries or has child-like tantrums or expresses her joy with the same passion.

"Sesshomaru-sama…are you resting? Aun and Jakken-sama are still napping. I woke up a long time ago."

I nod. The skin beneath my eyes tightens and lifts upward slightly. This is an almost invisible thing—and almost involuntary, though I hate it—but she takes it as my form of a smile.

She sits upon a raised root beside me, and begins to play with her long black hair. It is no longer short and torn as in years past, but to her waist and kept well considering what little time she is given for grooming. Her white fingers comb the ends for tangles as she stares pensively up into the branches. We are silent.

Normally she would fill the void with talk, but silence has recently become her pleasure. Mostly because she knows it is mine. There will be more talk on the road to pass the days. Now time is faded as we sit, still and silent. But this is also dangerous.

I can smell her, even in her stillness. Even though her heart has slowed and her breathing deepened. It is still there—that overpowering wash I once knew as stink curls around my neck and draws me outward. And now it is tainted with something new, something sweet and deadly. Her moon cycle comes now, and on the night of each quarter moon she starts her dark days. I can smell her blood, her womb twisting and stretching. But it is the days leading up to this time that are the worst—when the curling fingers choke me with their taste. They reside at the back of my tongue, and make me not myself. She wonders why I sit so often alone.

I wonder briefly if it would be so dangerous to call her to my side. To have her head against my chest as it was so many times before when she was small. But what purpose would it serve?

It is not that she would disobey; she would come. It is that the gesture has changed in its meaning. Not just protectiveness anymore, or even possessiveness, but true hunger. The closer she is the deeper I feel it burning. No youkai female has ever made me thus. I am reduced to this: needing. I need her near. I can no longer excuse it as nothing. I can no longer pass her off as a mere possession. I have fallen to the mistakes of my father and half-brother; I love a ningen woman. She sits silhouetted by the raging sun, her expression enraptured and her gaze inward. I no longer wonder at what power she holds over me—I have spent too long trying to find the answer. It is simply, thus.

"Sesshomaru-sama…" Her bright face is turned to me. "What will we do when we find Naraku, when you take his head and buy your kingdom? Will I help you build it? Can I serve you too, just like master Jakken?"

I can answer with nothing less than the truth. "You will not serve me, Rin. You will live in my house as royalty."

Her eyes grow as big as moons and her small mouth widens. "Oh…but Sesshomaru-sama! Rin cannot…be royalty! The Dog Clans will rule as master Jakken has said, and Lord Sesshomaru before them! Rin would be happy to carry her master's sword and armor!"

"You will carry no swords and no armor, Rin. You will have things carried for you."

She seems displeased, and so I am. Does she not understand? "Lord, I cannot…"

"You will, Rin. You will do as I say and live in my palace once it is built, until the end."

"You mean until I die." Her face is devoid of pain or fear, and accepts the truth. And so must I.

"Yes, Rin. Until you die. And if I am slain before that time, you will keep my halls for me. You will be a ruling Lady."

This seems to be too much for her to take all at once, and so I turn my face away from hers to give her time to think. Silence falls again, almost too deep for even me to bear.

"Will I wear beautiful kimonos like all the princesses do?" She asks, breaking the silence finally.

"Yes, Rin. You will have too many."

She thinks again. "And Sesshomaru-sama, will Rin wear red lipstick?"

This takes me aback; what could red lipstick possibly have to do with her position? "If you wish it."

"And…" here her voice quavers with some emotion. "Sesshomaru-sama, can Rin stay with you?"

"I have told you Rin, It will be so."

"Hai…but not across the big long hall? There are always big halls in palaces, and I'd be afraid to sleep alone."

I cannot conceal my start; my ears lower reflexively. "You will be nearby. I will always keep you near, Rin."

She drops her chin to her chest, ashamed at having asked such a question.

"Of course…arigotou, Sesshomaru-sama!"

Then she raises her head and smiles. "I do not know how to rule, but I will watch and learn it from you!" She seems so certain…I almost smile in return. She sees it in my eyes and is twice glad.

If only I could give it to her now. I can Hunt forever but she, being human, cannot.

She resumes combing her hair with her long white fingers, now humming the tune to a long forgotten song.

_In the mountain_

_In the forest_

_In the wind_

_In a dream_

_Where are you Sesshomaru-sama?_

_Sesshomaru-sama please return…_

Part III is in progress! Commentary is welcome!


End file.
